Sunday 27 April 2008

Rejection and Depression

I really have got to deal with rejection a bit better.

I know that I'm coming off the anti-depressants, and so having a few more trips over to the dark side than previously, but really, I've got to grow up!

Synopsis

I handed my synopsis round to the writers' group, thinking that it was pretty good. Oh how wrong can I be. They absolutely pulled it apart.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in favour of the criticisms that they made, I'm just sooooo pissed off that they needed to make any!


Article.

Then I had an article flagged on Suite 101. Again, there is nothing wrong with the criticisms that were made and this is exactly the sort of thing I'm learning -but man, did I get the arse? I was ready to throw my toys out of the pram, and stop writing for them (yes, I'm sure they'd be gutted...). It took me a little while to calm down, and make the corrections, but now I'm a bit panicky about future articles. Okay, that may be a good thing, as I hopefully won't get complacent, but I'm now feeling like a nervous wreck!

Perhaps I should go back onto the happy pills after all?

Knitting is so much more civilised.

Sunday 20 April 2008

Bulimia? Aren't you supposed to throw up as well?

Life

So, John Prescott has Bulimia. I feel sorry for him, and admire his courage in speaking publicly about it.

Years ago (I have a long history of "issues" with food) I was discussing this condition, and said that I could understand the bingeing, but had never forced myself to throw up, or get rid of the food in any other unpleasant ways - I've thought about it, but never done it. This was considered funny - after all - what's more hilarious than a fat person stuffing their face? However, when John Prescott says all this (and there's been no mention of fingers down the throat or laxatives - thank God!) it's not hysterically funny after all. Is it because I'm not a politician or some other kind of public figure? Is it because I'm female? Or is it just because the sketch writers haven't put together the jokes yet?

I hope he gets over the condition - and if he raises awareness of men dealing with eating disorders too, that's all to the good. One life helped is worth it.

Anything that opens up the debate has got to be positive.

Knitting

I've finished one sock - yes, I had finished one before, but it wasn't long enough, so I've now finished the second sock, and am going back to lengthen the first one.

My stars in one of the knitting mags said that I should be less chaotic, and finish some of my UFOs (unfinished objects). Although astrology is largely bollocks, there is a certain logic in that, and so I shall finish the socks and try to finish everything else before I start anything new.

Writing

I've actually done some this morning! Well, some editing. I've had a knitting book idea rejected again, because that particular company isn't doing any more books on knitting at the mo. Ah well, shit occurs. It's a bit frustrating, as I think that I have quite a good idea, and when I see some of the books published on the subject, I do wonder who the target audience is, as they seem very limited in scope, but perhaps that's just another phrase for "specialisation" and actually, that's what I should be aiming for.

I've been editing the novel this morning, am now up to chapter three, so must keep on going. Considering I finished the first draft in November, I've done bugger all since, but I will shift the focus back.

Must. Do. Better.

Saturday 12 April 2008

It's a funny old life!

Writing



I've started torturing agents with the novel. I thought it was about time.



I've got some non-fiction work on Suite 101 about knitting and other stuff, and I've been busy with loads of stuff, so hope still springs eternal.



Knitting.


I've got five projects on the go at the moment.


  1. Cinnamon bark in blue for Brenda


  2. Lace shawl for me (my first attempt at a lace shawl pattern - perhaps I should have followed one rather than deciding to make my own)


  3. Socks made out of the darning wool found in the loft - should be hardy!

  4. Fake-isle dog coat using one of my stash balls

  5. Domino crochet stash-busting afghan for the spare bed.


None of this stopped me shopping for more yarn today. Off to Wah Wah wools I went, in theory looking for 2.25mm needles (hard to get - not a standard size) and got a couple of others things instead.



Life

I was in the Oxfam shop, feeling a little down, when I met the mother of a friend of mine, and we stood chatting for a few minutes.

After we'd parted company, I felt good, and no longer felt the need to go and buy chocolate or cakes to cheer myself up.

That's the catch 22 of depression, I guess (I'm trying to wean myself off citalopram, as I'm not convinced that they're working). People stop you feeling so down, but when you're over on the dark side, you don't want to talk to anyone.