Obsessions

We all have the ability to develop obsessive habits.

For some of us, it's collecting yarn. For example, why did I buy a large ball of pompom yarn yesterday? Because I want to see what it's like to knit with. Despite those who have tried it saying "they no like" - no, I can't miss out. It's not like I'm short of yarn!

I have recently realised that I have an obsessive habit. Every day, I have to log on to www.suite101.com, to see if more or fewer people have been reading my articles.

If it's any help, I do know that it's pathetic. I mean, what's wrong with me, that I can't just put it on there, and wait for comments.

Mmm - I wonder if there's an article in that.......

Sometimes the darkness comes

Isn't it funny how we can turn on a sixpence?

I've not had a bad day - been busy - earned some money, had a nice dinner with a friend.

And then the evening comes and the darkness descends, actually and metaphorically.

Probably I'm just tired, but right now I'm feeling vulnerable, scared and tearful.

I've been full of doubt recently; my life has gone through some changes, so this is probably a natural reaction. Often it's fine, my pride in my own courage is just one of the things keeping me buoyed up.

But then there are the times like now. Have a made the right choice at the right time? What happens if it all goes wrong? Will I recover from disaster?

I know, this is self-indulgence. My biggest fears are growing in the darkness. Perhaps I should try to sleep before they take me over.

May confidence find me by morning.

Whimsical Memories

Yesterday, I happed to drive past my old school at finishing time. For many people this may be an everyday occurrence, but I live approx 50 miles away from where I grew up, and although my Dad is still near, I'm not usually around on a week day at a quarter to four.

It's funny the memories and feelings that went through my mind.

The building is still the same, but the uniform has changed (I would have killed for a v-neck sweater when I had to wear a crew-neck). As I watched the kids walking along in groups, waiting for their buses and trying desperately to be "alternative" and nonchalant. I couldn't help but smile. I was one of those girls, with band names written all over my school bag, books covered in wallpaper and a desperate desire to fit in by being different.

When I went around the corner, I saw another sight that was different from my schooldays, but yet the same. On a streetcorner (coincidentally the street where I used to go for piano lessons). was a crowd of about 15 girls from my old school, and about the same number of boys from our brother school. (This corner is approximately equidistant from those two august institutions). Some of the kids/teens were chatting, and flirting. On the edges of the group the other kids, the ones more like me, were hanging around. Perhaps jealous, perhaps bored, but unwilling to leave without their more popular mates.

For most of the way home, this song was in my head.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPPi58K6wZs



Perhaps, it should have been "I'm glad I'm not young anymore"!

Oh, the shame

So, I'm putting together some Christmas Patterns (yes, I know it's only October, but this is for promotion and therefore needs to be early).


I wanted some find some dark green yarn for some holly leaves.

I couldn't find it anywhere. In the end, I got all of my stash and stacked it up on the bed.

I had to leave the room for a moment. I suggested to best beloved that if he wanted to see something horrible, he should look in the bedroom. He gave me a puzzled look, to which I could only reply "my name is Lahlah, and I have an addiction problem".

Here's the proof.

So - this is why I'm NOT going to Ally Pally this year.


I managed to find some dark green. In all of the above, I had two small balls of it - about 15 - 20g each. Unreal!


Still enough to make what I wanted though.










Happy Holidays!